How do I know he’s a player?

GAME BOY

How do I know he’s a player?

                Perhaps a woman could only wish that every man she dates limited their gameplays to their computers and consoles. But all hope is not lost though. Here are telltale signs your man is just playing you.

A+ douche bag.They’re like road kill, oftentimes you don’t see them coming. They blindside you from a mile away. They say all the right things at the right time and make an effort to be the ‘right one’ when in reality, everything they say or do translate to “I just want to get in your pants”. They’re called players for a reason— they know how to iron out their words and flirt like a pro.

Mr. Inconsistent. He sends you plenty of messages one day, most of them quite short and meaningless (but who cares you’re infatuated) and then goes on days and days without dropping a single word. You might think he fell off the face of the Earth. When he resurfaces, a mollusk can come up with better excuses than he does. If he says he’s been busy, he’s definitely been. But with someone else.

Nice guys finish last. NOT. He’s the last to know anything significant about you. He’s the last to text you at midnight, only to ask what you’re up to (or what you’re wearing). You’re like a footnote to his plans. “I’m having a tough week at work, I’d like to grab a drink with you later before everything gets busier” isn’t exactly the most charming invitation to a date, is it?

Emotionally unavailable. You tell him personal details about your family and he responds with a courteous nod and a sheepish smile. If he doesn’t open up to you or ask you intimate questions, you’ve got to wonder what he really wants from you. You can only talk so much about what happened to your day and what you last ate for lunch. You might take him for a man of few words, but he just doesn’t care enough about you.

Divided attention. He takes you on multiple dates and you’re starting to think he’s really into you. But something’s bothering you at the back of your mind. Why is he constantly on his phone even if we’re together? Is he really drifting off while I’m talking? He doesn’t seem to remember anything. How can he possibly be acquainted with so many pretty girls that he practically bumps into them everywhere? Seriously, if you’re still with him amidst all these questions, you do deserve to be played.

Look up; it’s just a hook up. If you sense a guy just wants to know what’s in your pants rather than what’s in your head, then that’s a blaring sign telling you that he’s a player. If you feel the pressure to have sex rather than the pleasure to connect— that should be your cue to exit.

You’re a secret. You’ve never met his friends or anyone significant in his life. He’d rather stay in all the time than go out where people can see you. He doesn’t interact with you on Facebook. You both bump into someone he knows and he fails to introduce you. In fact, nobody knows you two are dating. Worse is, he tells you to keep it hush because “He doesn’t subscribe to public display of affection”. You should know by then that something’s up.

Gut feeling. If something within is telling you not to trust him, there’s probably a good reason why. Trust is a tangible element of any relationship— you either trust him or you don’t.

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