Heartbreak sells. Just look at the countless novels, movies, and self-help books that have made a fortune out of the tragedy of the human heart. Once broken, it seems that every fiber of your being is compelled to feel broken as well. All functions cease and the world stands still. That’s why everybody avoids having a broken heart or when they are suffering from one, does everything to repair it.
Romantic love is something everyone aspires to have. It’s euphoric nature makes every human being’s sole purpose to seek love all throughout their lifetime. There is no bigger tragedy than finding love elude you or nothing more painful than unrequited love. They say it’s much worse than physical death— you are alive and breathing yet suffering from feelings of powerlessness, frustration, and devastation eating away at you every day you are heart broken. You grieve, and much like in death, go through the stages of denial (He’ll come back), anger (I hate his guts), bargaining (Maybe if I wasn’t too clingy, he’d come back), depression (I don’t think I’ll ever want to love again), and finally acceptance (I’ve moved on).
Many people seek therapy or professional counsel to help them get over a broken heart. But if you can’t afford it, here are steps you can follow to arrive at the same goal: break free from heartbreak!
#1 Acknowledge the reality that your feelings of love and hurt were real.
Just because it didn’t turn out for the better, doesn’t mean your relationship was a sham. You both felt in love when you were together and you did enjoy the experience together.
#2 Love is always a blessing.
Not a lot of people get to experience love in their lifetime. So consider your experience with love as a rare gift, even if it caused you pain.
#3 Everything happens for a reason.
You may not see it clearly at the height of your pain from the heartbreak, but once the air clears and you can think more rationally, you’ll realize that it was for the better.
#4 Live in the present.
Leave the past behind and not worry about the future. Instead take care of today. Today is real and very much here, under your grasp and control. Take it as an opportunity to control what you want for tomorrow.
#5 Channel your emotions.
Don’t bottle it up. It’s like keeping a bomb in a pressurized chamber—sooner or later it’ll explode. It is always healthy to express anger and grief. It is one way to let go of your feelings by acknowledging that they exist.
#6 Cut all ties.
No, you can’t be friends. At least not yet. How can you move on if you constantly see him/her, go through their Facebook posts, accidentally text message them, or pass by a place they frequent. It’s like whacking your head with a rock you picked up yourself. Remove yourself from feeling constantly rejected.
#7 Turn to family and friends.
It always helps to have someone listen to you and it is comforting to be surrounded by people who actually love you and care for you.
#8 You are worthy of love.
Often after a heartbreak, you tend to feel unlovable. That is not true. You may have felt unloved by one person. But it’s just that ONE person, not the entire universe.
#9 Love yourself first.
They say love is an extension of yourself and before you can give love, you must have love first. So accept who you are and love yourself for all that you are—flaws and all. You can’t love someone else without loving yourself first.
#10 Everything passes.
Before you know it, it’ll be over. It may take months or years, but it’ll be over. Soon enough, you will love again.