Unrequited love. In this modern age, people have replaced it with a famous word: friendzone. Although it may sound like sugarcoating it a bit, having your feelings not reciprocated is quite hard to deal with. One-sided attractions are often more devastating that romantic, loving relationships that ended. You weren’t even worthy of their love. You have created this relationship out of your feelings and it’s hard to let go of them as much as it is hard to let go of the person who has never been yours in the first place.
How do you end a relationship that doesn’t (and didn’t) exist. What if you’re the only person in it. How do you break up with yourself and your feelings?
Ending an illusion is quite trickier than putting a stop to the real thing. It’s like subtracting an element that doesn’t exist in an equation. The real issue is about you and why you are holding on to your feelings and your obsession over what might have been.
You have to understand why you are holding on so much to something that is just a figment of your imagination.
You feel entitled to their feelings. Just because you feel a certain way about them that they should feel that way about you too. It doesn’t work that way. You have to express and communicate, instead of waiting for some magnetic force to connive and attract your poles together.
You think you have enough ‘love’ for the two of you. For a while it may seem like it’s enough, but eventually you’ll want him to reciprocate a little. But he doesn’t, and where does that leave you? Picking up the broken pieces on your own.
You have an all-consuming fear of relationships. It’s when you desperately want to be in one but are actually afraid of REALLY being in one. As a matter of fact you crave romance as much as you despise rejection.
You don’t ever want to let go. Because if you, what would be left of you? Being hurt and feeling something still beats feeling nothing and swimming in a void. You have a hard time admitting that the pain you are feeling is created by you alone, and will only go away if you will it to.
So how do you relinquish unrequited love?
Stop making mounds out of anthills. Yes, you may have been misled to believe that he feels something for you. But he’s not staying and you’re still chasing. Stop picking up bread crumbs—stop calling, chasing, messaging. Just stop your self-destructive behavior.
Stop the madness. Kill all hopes, waiting, and projecting. Stop creating an elaborate drama where you imagine things will turn around.
Stop obsessing. And start living instead. He didn’t commit to you, so commit yourself to the real world instead! Go out and live your life. If you spend so much energy and time wanting someone and obsessing about why things didn’t work out, you miss out on so many wonderful things that could happen in your life. Lift the cloud from your life and live!
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