Women have a common complaint and that is making their man communicate more and reveal what’s on their mind. It can be very frustrating for some women when their man disappears into their communication cave. Here are secrets on how to get him talking.
#1 Do not overwhelm him.
The desire to bombard him with questions is quite hard to ignore especially if you sense that something is going on in his mind. Men, unlike women, just do not appreciate a flood of questions when they are under so much stress. They think that it’ll make them appear weak or powerless, especially if they already feel that way with their situation. A simple question of “What’s wrong” will suffice and if they say they don’t want to talk about it, then don’t push it.
#2 Give him space.
This is much in relation with the first secret. When a guy is having a rough day, the last thing he’d want is a lot of stimulus in his environment. He just wants to zone out and forget even for a brief period of time. If you keep fussing about him with every intention to hopefully make him feel better, he’ll just feel suffocated and crowded. It doesn’t mean he dislikes you. He appreciates the attention, but like you, he also sometimes wants his space.
#3 Quit reading his mind.
A woman’s imagination is a man’s worst nightmare. They often wander to farfetched ideas, making any situation worse than they really are. When their man gets quiet, they speculate a lot of things, most often none of them good. You have to stop it. All your notions could even be wrong. The stress it puts on you will not be very helpful when you do communicate with each other.
#4 Focus on his strengths.
Instead of badgering him to open up, focus instead on making him feel good about himself. Rather than focus on his shortcomings, make him feel valued by highlighting his good qualities and the good things he has done for you and your relationship.
#5 Men think more than they feel.
They respond more to thinking questions than feeling ones. It is often more helpful to ask them what they think rather than how they feel about their situation. When you start talking about feelings, they get the idea that you are trying to go into the emotional-speak mode and that just scares some men off. They’d rather expose their thoughts more than their emotions.
#6 Offer real help.
Men do appreciate concern. But when you are overly concerned instead of helpful, it can really be frustrating for them. They feel that they have to tend more to your ego rather than their problems. If you want to be really helpful, offer practical suggestions and solutions. He’ll appreciate you more.
#7 Think of what’s good for him.
Women love to analyze every detail where men don’t. It is never wise to expect the same from a guy. They are very practical and once they’ve arrived at a solution they like, they’d end the discussion at that. Although you might be tempted to go on, think about how you’d feel if the roles were reversed.