TAKING IT SLOW

Pacing your dating life may seem like a stretch, especially when you are so infatuated with the other person that you just want to speed things up the highway of love. But you also have to understand that getting to really know someone takes time in order to build a strong foundation to what is hopefully a long-term relationship. Here are a few tips on how to ‘take it slow’.

#1 Express yourself.

Communicating your feelings is important in any relationship. If you wish to go slow, say it early in the dating relationship. Establish the boundaries and avoid the awkwardness of telling your date “Let’s slow down” in a much later conversation. However, also explain why you want to take your time so it doesn’t seem like an imposition.

#2 Full disclosure isn’t necessarily being very honest.

The first date isn’t exactly the most ideal time to take out all your dirty laundry. It can be very off-putting for your date. Sure, you may divulge a little about your personal life, but only those that won’t hamper the jovial and relaxed atmosphere of your date.

#3 Hold back a little.

Finding common ground and interest may be nice, but you can’t allow those to wholly define your relationship. Sure, you both like Asian food, that doesn’t mean bringing him Asian food all the time or planning trips to go to Asia. Nor should you be talking about a Christmas holiday get away when you’ve met each other on Spring break. Also, don’t say “I love you” too soon.

#4 Save the big issues for later.

Making future plans together very early in the dating period is a big no-no. You may still not be in the same level of emotional investment to be talking about the future.

# 5 Don’t lose your identity.

Oftentimes when you are so enamored with someone else, you begin to adapt their personality, do more of the things they like, or behave in a similar way that they do. Do not make them the center of your life or simply put yours on hold because of your newfound object of affection. Continue to pursue your passions and introduce your partner to them too.

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