Every woman who likes a man wishes to express their feelings. You want to let him know how you feel and hold the deepest hopes that he feels the same way too. You feel like he’s holding back and you want to reassure him that you are interested in him—you want to make it easy for him to date you. You badly want to show that you are eager and excited to be with him.
YET, you know you can’t be the one chasing him. But your judgment has been clouded by your feelings for him that unknowingly, you are doing the exact same thing you are not supposed to which is go after him.
You think you can resort to just being plain “friendly” and “casual” would make your efforts of chasing after him less noticeable. What may seem not obvious to you is like a blaring headlight to him—he knows you are into him and you are not backing down.
Men don’t like being chased because they like being the one doing the chasing. When you are trying so hard to capture his attention, it becomes off-putting. In fact, he’ll find it smothering and aggressive. When men feel like they are being attacked or their masculine role is being challenged, they back off. So you may think that you are getting closer to him, but you are actually pushing him away.
So how do you know if you are unconsciously pushing him away by being overbearing? Here are a few clues.
Digital stalking. Everyone these days find it convenient to connect electronically or digitally. So you constantly email, text, or Facebook him. You have something on your mind and you tell him via Facebook. You think it’s nothing but casual interaction and everyone does it anyway, BUT if he ALWAYS gets notifications from you, he’ll start to get creeped out. He’ll think you have nothing better to do but contact him and frankly, nobody’s really that fond of stalkers.
Collect calls. Like literally, collecting calls. You have his number on speed dial so that you can call him should anything you hear, read, or see remotely connected to him. You saw a CD of his favorite band-call him. You are watching his favorite show on TV- call him. You heard someone give a bad review of his favorite restaurant- call him. You check your phone and he hasn’t called yet- call him. It’s not cute. It’s kind of annoying.
Being the “So what’s the plan, Stan” kind. You’re always the one inviting him to come over or tell him that you should both go to this event, see this movie, watch this concert, or eat at this restaurant. Men like being in control and if you always direct your social activities, it makes them feel like you are taking over the relationship.
Dissecting his feelings. You are often putting him under the microscope, scrutinizing his thoughts and feelings. You are always seeking validation of his feelings for you and men find it tiring to constantly prove themselves to their woman.
Are you doing any of these things unaware? It may seem like there’s nothing wrong with letting your feelings known. You don’t want to walk on eggshells by hiding your true emotions. But doing those things mentioned here is equivalent to painting a sign on yourself stating ‘NEEDY’. Desperation has never been an attractive trait. So keep your actions in check. For all you know, you might think you are doing everything right but he’s still drifting away from you.